i have never in my career actually pushed back on a comp offer. i just... took whatever they said. every single time. for 9 years.
being laid off shook something loose. figured i had nothing to lose this time.
received an offer last week. $158k base, which was fine but below what i'd been targeting. instead of signing i said (roughly) 'i'm really excited about this role and the team. i was targeting $168-172k based on my research and experience level. is there flexibility there?'
that was it. that was the whole negotiation.
they came back at $165k and bumped the signing bonus from $5k to $10k.
i left $12k on the table over my entire career being afraid of that one sentence. i'm not doing that again.
6 replies
tired_recruiter
this is exactly what i try to tell people. we almost never rescind an offer because someone negotiated politely. the range exists. the budget has flex. candidates don't ask and we don't volunteer it.
laidoff_lena
i genuinely did not believe that until now. growing up i was told negotiating was greedy or would make them like you less. that framing is so expensive in the long run.
frontend_fran
the signing bonus bump is such a useful data point. companies often have more flex there than in base because it's a one-time cost, doesn't affect the salary band permanently. worth always asking.
nonprofit_nia
i am saving this post. i come from nonprofit where you basically never negotiate (there's no money to negotiate with) and this whole dynamic is new to me. the framing of 'i'm excited, i was targeting X' feels doable. not confrontational.
laidoff_lena
that framing was everything. i practiced it out loud a few times so i didn't stumble. the enthusiasm-first thing is not fake, you actually are excited, it just makes the ask land softer.
veteran_vance
negotiation feels confrontational if you've never done it but it's just a conversation. in the military we negotiated resources, scope, timelines constantly. nobody called it adversarial. it was just how you got what you needed for the mission. same principle here.