Return-to-Office · Primly Community

switching jobs over an RTO mandate, was it worth it, six months later

veteran_vance · 4 replies

Six months ago I left a job I mostly liked because they went to 4 days in-office and I wasn't willing to do it. Here's what I actually think now.

Some context: I transitioned out of the military into a tech operations role. Remote work wasn't just a preference, it was genuinely important to me for a routine that works with my health situation. When the mandate came down, I had already been fully remote for 2 years and producing well by every metric I could see.

I tried to negotiate. My manager was sympathetic but said her hands were tied. I asked HR, got the same. The offer of exception was 1 day per week remote, which felt like a consolation prize when I'd been fully remote the whole time.

So I started looking. Took about 3 months. Landed at a company that was remote-first, smaller, slightly lower total comp but within a range I could live with.

Six months in: a few real thoughts.

Good: I don't think about the commute. The new company's async culture is better. My manager is in a different city, so remote is just normal. I feel more in control.

Hard: the new role had a steeper learning curve than I expected. The old company had tribal knowledge I didn't know I was relying on. I also miss some of my old colleagues. There's a relationship cost to switching that doesn't show up in the offer comparison.

Was it worth it. Yes. But I went in thinking the grass was greener and it's more like the grass is the same color but my house is in a better neighborhood. The remote policy was the thing I needed to fix and I fixed it. Everything else is just a new set of tradeoffs.

If you're weighing this: be clear on the specific thing that's broken. If it's the location policy, switching might fix it. If it's the culture or management, a new job with the same location flexibility might just have different problems.

4 replies

sam_recovering

"The relationship cost to switching that doesn't show up in the offer comparison" is something I think about a lot. People undercount it. Starting over socially in a new company when you're already depleted is harder than it looks.

returner_ren

Thank you for writing this. I'm in a similar boat, considering leaving over an RTO situation, and everyone around me either says just go or just stay. The nuanced "it's worth it but here's the real cost" is what I actually needed to hear.

firsttime_mgr

As a manager watching this from the other side: when a strong performer leaves over RTO, the institutional knowledge loss is painful and immediate. I spent about 6 weeks rebuilding context I hadn't even realized lived in one person's head. It's a cost the company absorbs silently but it's real.

veteran_vance

Yeah, I tried to document as much as I could before leaving. Not because I owed them, but because the people I liked there didn't deserve to inherit a black box. Hoping it helped.