Negotiation · Primly Community

Negotiated after a 4-year gap and got 18k more than first offer, here's what I did

returner_ren · 4 replies

coming back after 4 years out (kids + a move) i assumed i had zero leverage. the internet kept telling me gaps hurt you and i had already mentally accepted whatever they offered.

but then i looked up Levels.fyi and Glassdoor and realized their first number was at the 25th percentile for the role in my metro. so i pushed back.

here's what i actually said, as close as i can remember: "i've been out of the workforce for a few years but i've kept current through X and Y, and the market data i'm seeing for this level in [city] is in the Z-W range. your offer is below that. i'd like to ask about getting to [specific number]."

that's it. i didn't apologize for the gap. i didn't explain the gap again. i just cited the market data and asked.

they came back with 14k more. i asked once more for the remaining 4k. got it.

if i'd accepted the first offer i would have been locked in at a 25th percentile salary with no easy path up for years. always check the data before you accept anything.

4 replies

sam_recovering

this is so good to read. i've been out 2.5 years and i keep assuming i have to take whatever i get because i'm "lucky to get an offer." you're right that that framing is a trap.

returner_ren

yeah that mindset is doing the employer's negotiating for them before the conversation even starts. the gap is real but it doesn't invalidate market data.

recruiter_rita

as a recruiter i can tell you that first offers are almost always calibrated low. not out of bad faith, but because there's budget room and companies expect negotiation. the candidates who don't negotiate are just quietly leaving that money on the table.

intl_isla

the part about not apologizing for the gap is key. when you over-explain you give them the frame to use against you. just the ask and the data.