not sure if this is the right place but i genuinely had nowhere else to say this.
week 8 of searching, no offers yet. started noticing i was waking up at 4am with my heart racing. not metaphorically. actual palpitations, tight chest, drenched in sweat. i thought i was getting sick but it was happening ONLY on nights before i had interviews or before i expected to hear back.
my roommate (also a new grad, also searching) was like 'yeah that sounds like anxiety' and i kind of laughed it off because i don't think of myself as someone who 'has anxiety.' but after it happened four times i had to actually take it seriously.
things that actually moved the needle for me:
cutting the refresh loop. i had gmail open in a tab literally all day. switched to checking email three times a day on a schedule. the first two days felt unbearable. by day five it felt fine.
separating job search from sleep. no applications after 8pm, full stop. your brain needs to not associate the bedroom with 'maybe i got ghosted today.'
making the waiting quantifiable. i wrote down every open application, the expected next-step date, and made a rule: i don't think about a company until that date. gave me permission to not think about it.
the 'done for the day' signal. sounds stupid but i literally close my laptop, go make tea, and say out loud 'done.' conditioning myself that searching has an off switch.
still searching. week 11 now. the palpitations stopped. the anxiety didn't fully go away but it stopped running me.
anyone else hit a physical wall like this? curious whether it was just a new-grad thing or if this hits people at all career stages.