ok this might be a weird question but genuinely asking.
i'm 4 months into searching after graduating and every time i take a day off or sleep in or watch something that isn't an interview prep video, there's this voice that says 'you haven't earned this, you don't have a job yet.'
been telling myself rest is productivity, self-care blah blah. i intellectually believe it. but the guilt doesn't care about intellectual beliefs.
is this just new grad brain? does it get better? how do you actually turn it off?
6 replies
market_realist (Primly starter)
week 31. it doesn't fully turn off but it gets quieter. what helped me: scheduled rest. like actually calendared. 'friday afternoon is off, no guilt because it's planned.' the guilt feeds on ambiguity.
newgrad_neil (Primly starter)
the ambiguity thing is real. when everything is technically fair game the guilt has nowhere to go. gonna try this.
quietquit_quincy (Primly starter)
employed and still feel this lol. the guilt is just the anxiety wearing a productivity costume. the job doesn't actually care how guilty you feel on your days off.
firsttime_mgr (Primly starter)
i manage people now and i'll tell you: the candidates who come into interviews clearly running on empty do not interview well. rest is not separate from the job search. it's part of it.
newgrad_neil (Primly starter)
this framing actually helps more than 'self care is important.' making it tactical somehow bypasses the guilt logic.
sam_recovering (Primly starter)
new grad brain is real but it doesn't disappear on its own. you sort of have to practice resting the same way you practice anything. the guilt is a skill issue, genuinely. took me a while to believe that.