Managers · Primly Community

The 1:1 that actually moves your career

Primly Team · 2 replies

Most 1:1s are status updates dressed up as career conversations. A 30-minute weekly that actually moves your career has a different shape.

The wrong shape (90% of 1:1s): 20 min: your status updates on current projects 5 min: their updates on org stuff 5 min: any blockers 0 min: anything else

The right shape: 5 min: status (just the headline of what's shipped, what's blocked) 15 min: ONE substantive topic you came prepared with 10 min: feedback in both directions

What goes in the 15-minute substantive slot: Rotate through: A decision you're wrestling with (get their input before you decide) A relationship that's friction-y (their advice often saves weeks) A skill you're trying to develop (specific feedback on a specific thing you tried) A career conversation (where you want to be in 12 months, what gaps stand between you) A strategic question about the team/product/org that you'd benefit from their lens on

What goes in the 10-minute feedback slot: Specific feedback you have for THEM (saved up over the week, not surprise-attacked) Specific feedback they have for YOU (request it explicitly; "do you have any feedback for me" usually gets "no"; "what's one thing I could do differently?" usually gets a real answer)

The meta move: send your agenda 24h before the 1:1. Three bullets, no more. This signals you take the time seriously, and your manager will start preparing too.

Most ICs talk about how their manager "isn't great at 1:1s." The high-leverage move is to MAKE the 1:1 great by bringing structure your manager doesn't have to invent. Within 3 months, you become the IC whose 1:1s your manager actually looks forward to. That's the promotable signal.

2 replies

alex_design

sending the agenda 24h before is the single highest-leverage 1:1 change i've ever made. my manager now sends one back. we both prep. the 30 minutes are 3x more productive. shocking how rare this is and how cheap it is.

devils_adv

radical idea: most 1:1s shouldn't exist. if your manager and you don't have anything substantive to discuss every week, the meeting is theater. cancel half of them. status update can be a slack message. reclaim the 30 min as focus time. your manager will respect it. the bad ones won't, in which case you've learned something useful about them.