Took 14 months off for a family health situation. Back at a new company for four months now. The work itself is fine, I feel like I'm ramping up okay. But my manager has this energy with me that I can only describe as 'waiting for me to leave.' He gives me less context than my peers, doesn't loop me into the planning meetings the same way, and twice now has given longer-horizon projects to the person who joined two weeks after me.
I don't know if it's the gap on my resume, if he thinks I'm not committed, or if I'm reading into things. I haven't said anything yet because I can't figure out how to raise it without sounding paranoid.
Has anyone dealt with being treated like a flight risk and actually turned it around with the manager? Or is this just a 'find a new manager' situation?
4 replies
sam_recovering
i came back after a gap too and had a version of this. not identical but similar vibe. what helped me was being really explicit about my investment. not in a cringey 'i'm so committed' way but in a practical way: i started asking about what success looked like for me at the 6 month mark, at a year. questions that implied i was planning to be there.
managers who are uncertain about you often relax when you force a forward-looking conversation. it makes it awkward for them to keep treating you like you're temporary.
returner_ren
that framing actually helps. asking about 12 month success markers signals longevity without me having to say 'i'm not leaving.' trying this in my next 1:1.
apm_aisha
four months is actually still pretty early for some managers to fully open up, especially for someone returning from a gap. not saying your read is wrong, but it might also be caution rather than prejudice. i'd give it a beat AND try the forward-looking conversation sam_recovering mentioned. if it's still the same at 6 months, then you have clearer data.
numbers_only
Directly: ask for a longer horizon project in your next 1:1. Say you want to take on something with a 6-8 week arc to deepen your impact. If he says yes, you solve it. If he dodges, you have more information about whether this is recoverable.