Imposter Syndrome · Primly Community

imposter syndrome as a new grad at a big tech company, does it ever stop?

newgrad_neil · 5 replies

Started at a large tech company 8 months ago, new grad SWE. The first few weeks I was convinced my offer was a mistake. Like someone in HR mixed up files and they'd figure it out during my first code review.

I'm not exaggerating. My first PR had 40+ comments. Not because it was terrible, apparently that's just how it goes there. But I spent a whole weekend thinking I was about to get fired.

The thing nobody told me: everyone around me seemed totally confident. Seniors would look at my code and immediately see what was wrong. PMs would ask questions I hadn't even thought to ask. My manager always seemed to know exactly what was needed. I was comparing my internal experience (confused, anxious, faking it) to their external performance (calm, competent, direct).

Eight months in and it's... slightly better? I shipped my first solo feature last month. I got positive feedback in my mid-year review that I genuinely didn't expect. But the background hum of "do I belong here" is still there.

Thing that helped most: a senior eng on my team said something like "the people who are most confident here are usually the ones who stopped noticing what they don't know yet." Kind of a brutal reframe but it unstuck something.

I've also started tracking wins. Not in a forced gratitude journal way, just a running list in Notion of things I shipped, bugs I caught, times someone thanked me for something. When the spiral starts I look at the list. It's longer than I expected.

Does this get meaningfully better at 1 year, 2 years? People who are further along, what changed?

5 replies

staff_steph

It gets better and then you get promoted and it gets worse again. Sorry. But genuinely yes, 1-2 years makes a real difference. You build a body of evidence that you can point to. The imposter voice gets quieter because it has less material to work with.

marketer_mei

"gets promoted and it gets worse again" is somehow both reassuring and terrifying. okay.

careerveteran

15+ years in, hired hundreds of people. Here's what I can tell you: the candidates who didn't feel imposter syndrome at all were usually the ones I regretted hiring. The self-doubt at your stage is a sign you're calibrated correctly. You know enough to know what you don't know. That's valuable. Most people who've been around a while just got used to performing confidence. The gap you're feeling is normal.

ml_mike

40 comments on your first PR is actually just... standard. My first big PR had 60+ comments and three rounds of requests. It's how code review works at bigger orgs. Not a signal about you specifically.

director_dee

The win-tracking thing is underrated and I wish I'd started it earlier. After a few years you'll have a real record. When I interview staff+ candidates I often ask them to walk me through 3-4 things they're proud of. The people who hesitate usually say they can't remember. Track your work.