Imposter Syndrome · Primly Community

how to tell if what you're feeling is imposter syndrome or a real skill gap

sam_recovering · 4 replies

this is something i spent a lot of time confused about during my burnout and recovery, and i've since talked to enough people to think it's a genuinely useful question that doesn't get answered cleanly.

there's a thing people say: "if you have imposter syndrome, you're probably good. only bad people don't doubt themselves." i find this... not totally true. it's comforting but it flattens something important.

imposter syndrome is REAL and common. but so is the actual skill gap. and conflating them doesn't serve you.

here's a rough framework i've been using for myself:

imposter syndrome tends to be: persistent regardless of evidence (you get positive feedback and still feel like a fraud) about your identity and worth, not specific skills activated by comparison to others, not by actual task failure something that feels different than it used to even when you haven't changed

real skill gap tends to be: specific ("i struggle with system design," not "i'm bad at everything") responsive to evidence (you fail specific tasks and that's where the feeling shows up) something you can practice and measure something your manager or peers can also see if asked

the test i've found most useful: ask a trusted senior colleague to give you a genuine read on one specific area you're worried about. not "am i good?" but "honestly, how does my SQL compared to the others at my level here?" specific, comparative, addressable.

if the answer confirms the gap: you have something to work on. that's useful.

if the answer surprises you ("you're actually stronger than you think in that area"): that's data that what you're feeling might be more syndrome than gap.

both are workable. the mistake is treating them the same.

4 replies

ds_dmitri

the "specific vs. global" dimension is useful. i noticed my self-doubt after a bad SQL interview round was very specific: "my window functions are weak." i went and practiced window functions for two weeks. i retook a similar round. i did well. that's a gap, addressed. the imposter stuff that never resolves no matter what i do is different.

ae_andre

slightly uncomfortable point: the trusted colleague feedback mechanism depends on having a trusted colleague who will actually be honest. a lot of workplaces don't produce that. if your culture is all positive reinforcement, the feedback is useless as calibration.

sam_recovering

yeah, that's fair. a mentor outside your company can also work for this. someone with no stake in your morale management, who can just tell you what they actually see.

returner_ren

the "persistent regardless of evidence" test was helpful for me. after my career gap i kept assuming my skills had decayed. a couple of months back i built something fairly complex to test myself and it... worked fine. i still felt like a fraud. that told me the gap was smaller than the syndrome.