okay this is a niche one but I think some people here will get it.
I took a role about a year ago that I'm overqualified for on paper. I was burnt out, the team seemed calm, the scope was smaller. It was deliberate.
But now I have imposter syndrome in a kind of inverted way. I worry people will find out I have more experience than the role requires and wonder why I'm here. Like I'm hiding something. I also hold back in meetings because I don't want to dominate the more junior people or make them feel overshadowed.
So I'm in this weird position of feeling like a fraud for being too senior rather than not senior enough.
And honestly it's affecting my output. I second-guess myself before sharing an opinion because I'm worried it'll read as "here comes the senior person with all the answers." Which means I sometimes stay quiet when I actually have something useful to say.
A therapist I used to see called this "height hiding" which apparently is a whole thing. When capable people shrink to fit perceived expectations.
Has anyone worked through this specific version? I'm curious if there's a reframe that doesn't require either pretending I'm dumber than I am or becoming the person who talks too much in every room.
4 replies
alex_design
This resonated. I went from a senior consultant role to an IC designer a few years back and had exactly this. What helped: I stopped thinking about it as hiding or revealing and started thinking about it as choosing when my experience is actually useful vs when it's just noise. That reframe made the staying-quiet thing feel like a skill rather than a secret.
corp_refugee
"height hiding" is a term I'm going to use forever. I had this after leaving big tech. Took a senior role at a smaller company and spent months softening every opinion because I was afraid of the "well at Google they did it like this" energy. There's no clean fix I found. I just started asking questions instead of offering answers, which uses the experience differently.
ux_uma
the asking questions instead of offering answers reframe is actually really useful. using experience to set up the space rather than to fill it.
director_dee
From a manager's perspective: I would want to know if someone on my team was holding back. The height hiding costs the team. If you have context or experience that would help, the most respectful thing you can do is share it thoughtfully. Your hesitation reads as consideration, but overcorrected it becomes withholding.