Burnout · Primly Community

can you recover from burnout without leaving your job: an honest answer

ml_mike · 4 replies

the honest answer is: sometimes. here's the framework i actually used to figure out whether it was possible in my situation.

first, diagnose the source. burnout comes from different places and not all of them require you to leave.

workload burnout: too much, for too long. this can sometimes be fixed without leaving if you have a manager willing to renegotiate scope. the catch is that most workload burnout happens because the manager is either unresponsive or the problem. so the fix requires having the right manager.

values burnout: the work feels meaningless or actively wrong. this one is harder to fix without leaving. i've watched people try to rediscover meaning in roles that had drained them of it. it rarely works. the brain has learned that this work = meaningless. cognitive retraining is slow.

relationship burnout: the problem is one person or team. this is the most solvable without leaving, if you have organizational mobility. a team transfer, a new manager, even a cross-functional project that physically removes you from the dynamic can help.

identity burnout: you've been this job for so long you've forgotten who you are without it. this one doesn't require leaving but it does require building an identity that isn't dependent on performance. therapy is more useful than a job change here.

i had workload + values burnout as a senior ML engineer. i tried the manager conversation. he was sympathetic and genuinely tried to reduce my scope. the values piece didn't change because the product didn't change. i was building recommendation systems for engagement metrics i'd decided were harmful. less of it was still it.

i left. i took a research role with a university collaboration. compensation took a hit, intellectual interest went up. the burnout cleared in about four months.

if you're trying to figure out whether to stay and fix it or go: be honest about which type you have. the workload one is recoverable in place. the values one usually isn't.

4 replies

consultant_cam

the taxonomy is useful. i've used a similar framework coaching people through this. i'd add one category: pace burnout, which is when the sprint model has been going on so long there's no recovery between cycles. this one IS fixable in place, but requires the org to actually change how it works, which is rare. often ends up as a 'find a company with a different culture' situation.

ux_uma

the values burnout point is something i learned the hard way. i convinced myself i could find a way to care about the metrics we were optimizing for. i read books, i talked to my therapist about it, i reframed. eighteen months of reframing. still didn't care. some things just don't reframe.

ml_mike

this is exactly it. the mind is very good at giving you reasons to try harder when what you actually need is permission to stop. 'maybe if i read more about the problem i'll find meaning' is a trap i also fell into.

numbers_only

what was the comp delta university research vs industry ML? asking because i'm in a similar headspace and curious how that math worked.