Burnout · Primly Community

how to know if you have job burnout or just hate your current job

sre_sol · 5 replies

I've been asking myself this for probably 18 months and I think I finally have something useful to say about it.

The framing I keep seeing online is: "burnout is exhaustion, hating your job is the job's fault." That's too clean. In my experience they blur.

Here's the test I wish someone had given me earlier. Ask yourself: if you got a new job tomorrow, identical work, different company, better manager, would you feel relief? Or would you still feel like you have nothing left?

If the answer is "I'd feel nothing," that's probably burnout. If the answer is "oh god yes get me out," that's more likely you're in the wrong place.

For me it was burnout, but I'd convinced myself it was the job. Blamed our incident culture, blamed the on-call rotation, blamed the manager. All real problems. But I left for a new role and felt... the same. Actually worse for a few months because I didn't have the old complaints as an outlet anymore.

Some actual signals I missed: I stopped caring whether things went well. Not stressed, just flat. I'd get home and have zero capacity for anything. Not tired, like a different thing. Processing gone. Things that used to genuinely interest me (new infra tooling, architecture decisions) felt like noise.

Differentiating it matters because the fix is different. If it's the job, switching works. If it's burnout, you might switch and bring the same empty tank with you.

I ended up taking 6 weeks off between jobs. Was lucky I could. Not the answer for everyone but it's the only thing that actually reset something for me.

Curious if others have a better heuristic. I keep seeing "just take a vacation" advice which, no, doesn't touch it.

5 replies

marketer_mei

The "bring the empty tank with you" thing is so real. I switched roles last spring thinking a new company culture would fix it. First week in I cried in the bathroom because I felt nothing and thought something was wrong with me. Took another 3 months before I admitted it was burnout I'd carried over.

sre_sol

Yeah the 3-month delay is brutal because you keep thinking "okay I just need to settle in." There's always a plausible excuse not to deal with it.

careerveteran

As a manager I'd add: the people most at risk of carrying burnout into a new role are the ones who didn't rest at all between jobs. I've watched great engineers start day 1 already depleted because they interviewed through an extremely stressful last 6 months and went straight from offer letter to new desk. No transition time, no processing. The new job never had a chance.

backend_bekah

your "no capacity at home" signal is the one I use too. when I can't even muster fake interest in something I genuinely enjoy, that's the canary. dinner with friends I've been trying to schedule for weeks and I'm just... waiting for it to be over.

laidoff_lena

I got layoff-forced out of my last role. Honestly for the first two weeks I was just angry about the layoff. By week 3 I realized I wasn't upset about losing the work itself. That was the moment I realized I'd probably been burned out for over a year and the company just beat me to making a change.